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Natural vs. Relaxed Hair

After being natural for over 10 years I decided to cut and relax my hair. Needless to say it was a shock to many people. Some commented- “You sold out!” Others said, “Why grow your hair if you were just going to cut it?!” And I also got the- “Welcome to the creamy crack universe” comments.

I absolutely love my hair cut. I love the freedom it gives me. I feel like a new person. Funny how new hair, new clothes, new love can always change a perspective. I wanted to cut my hair for quite some time but I enjoyed my afro and twist out. Freddy from “A Different World” was my inspiration and the village bohemian chick was my go to fashion style. I enjoyed not having to go to the hairstylist, learning about my hair texture, movement and temperament. It was a learning experience and I grew as a person during those years.


Being natural gives you muscles. Standing for long periods doing a twist out is no easy feat! My biceps were pretty tone for a while. Being natural taught me how to fight through bad hair days, forming undried bantu knots into an outdoor ready hairstyle. Having natural hair requires a self-confidence and a slightly rebellious nature. It taught me how to fall in love with imperfection and embrace it because the mistakes can be beautiful too. It helped me realize that it’s never too late to realize a childhood dream. It was truly a formational time in my life.


And then I cut it all off! It was like I walked through a door into a new world. I felt bolder, comfortable in my own skin. Not because I think relaxed hair is better than natural but because I changed something in my life that I was once so afraid to do. Action gives you courage. Action toward your goals, happiness or healing provides you with so much momentum to succeed. There was an exhale in the universe when I expressed the desires of my heart about myself. So many things are waiting to happen the moment you come into alignment with your purpose. The earth is groaning waiting for you to BECOME. Every step you take toward becoming your absolute best self is a step toward you’re destiny and the fulfillment of purpose.


Hair is something black women take very seriously. We hold on to it as a status symbol, safety net or link to our family. I knew the next year of my life would take me into places I’d never been and I wanted to be ready. Mental shifts needed to happen in order for me to let go of past mistakes and failures so I could walk into the new. Cutting my hair was a big part of that. I was ready to let it all go. I was ready for something new and different and most importantly I didn’t care what anyone thought. It was my decision and it was JUST hair. It would grow back.


There are so many things we need to change in our lives but we are scared, willing to take the safe way instead of the God way. We hold onto the past because it’s comfortable and safe. But it’s time to let go and move forward. It’s just hair! I am more concerned about walking boldly towards my future than reliving the past, listening to the opinions of others or even failure. Failure is a sign of movement. If you keep moving you will get it right, you will figure it out. You will win.


Welcome to 2018 the year to live without fear.


Focus. Fight. Succeed.

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