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I Believe in ME!

There are so many things that have transpired this year. Things that have increased me, enlightened me, tried me. Each happening has proven to be exactly what I needed to push me forward. It’s definitely not a “new year, new me” situation but an incremental transformation. I see the specific internal areas that have advanced and matured and structured me. I am on a journey and I have become acutely aware of what’s at stake.

Stay at home mom, Pastor, Founder of a non-profit and Conference host are all things that I am and do. I love doing each of these because they enable me to share my ideas and passions with the world. Yet because I live in a society that puts the highest value on monetary contribution I was always a bit unsettled with the place I was in life. I wasn’t bringing in the bacon and therefore assigned myself a lower value rating. Despite the ongoing encouragement and pep talks from my husband and those around me assuring that I was doing exactly what I needed to and was indeed valuable and hard working- I couldn’t make myself consistently truly believe it. I would have good days of confidence and then bad days of feeling so unaccomplished that I could barely breathe. What was I doing with my life? Nearly 40 and no job. What would my credentials be, what would my legacy show? Had I won any awards that could highlight my talents? I was really a failure at this thing called life.

The things we value are not always the things that are valuable. It’s all based on who we listen to and what we allow to become the indicator for success. And I gotta tell you, I was listening to the wrong person and things. I listened to the foreboding tales of what a resume gap, for choosing to stay home with my children, would do to my career. I listened to the discouraging grumblings of the devil causing me to believe I had nothing to give. I listened to my own insecurities shouting that time was ticking and I had better get on with life.

And then something happened! I turned 40 and my husband took me to Paris for my birthday. He asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said I wanted to be someplace beautiful- how about Paris. And this amazingly wonderful husband of mine made my wish come true! I was surrounded by my family and this beautiful city on my special day. I came from Paris and went to the Philippines. This was a service trip where I learned about and served victims of sex trafficking. And somewhere in between December and now- I got it. I got that I am a contributor. I am dynamic and I am a contender. I am on the road less travelled. My life’s path is not familiar but that’s what makes it interesting. There are so many amazing ideas and concepts God has given me these last few weeks. I can’t wait to work on them and see how they will unfold. It’s time to get loose and stay loose. It’s time to run. It’s time to rise.

The same goes for you! Don’t listen to the wrong voices. You are able to rise this year. You are a contributor. You are a contender. Your road is the one specifically designed for you.

Focus. Fight. Succeed.

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